Relationship Sculptures

Students at San Miguel School participating in our Love U2 workshop have been learning about healthy and unhealthy relationships. For this session they created sculptures to represent six different types of relationships. These are the sculptures they created:

TEAM 1 created a sculpture representing a CONDITIONAL RELATIONSHIP. In this type of relationship you worry a lot about not being "good enough." You feel like you have to be, act, talk, and look a certain way in order to keep you partner's attention or love. You worry you won't be loved if you show or act like real you.

TEAM 2 created a sculpture representing an EQUAL, RESPECTFUL AND SUPPORTIVE RELATIONSHIP. In this type of relationship both partners strongly value talking to and treating each other with a high level of respect. Neither dominates or consistently "gives in." They both know differences and disagreements are inevitable in any relationship and do not put each each other down when these occur. Both partners feel encouraged by the other to develop and better themselves.

TEAM 3 created a sculpture representing a CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIP. In this type of relationship one partner dominates and need to be the "boss" especially in from of others. The controlled person worries about upsetting his or her partner and often avoids saying or doing things that are important. One or both partners think they are entitled to express their frustration and anger in any way they choose such as through criticism, put-downs, name-calling, threats intimidation and/or actual physical aggression.

TEAM 4 created a sculpture representing a MOSTLY PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP. This type of relationship is based almost exclusively on excitement, looks, money and sexual attraction. While they may spend a lot of time being physical, there is not a lot of deeper getting-to-know each other time.

TEAM 5 created a sculpture representing an UNCONDITIONAL RELATIONSHIP. In this type of relationship you both feel liked or loved for who you really are. You don't have to be perfect. You each show genuine care about the other.

TEAM 6 created a sculpture representing ATTRACTION ON MANY LEVELS. In this type of relationship the couple clearly feels the attraction and excitement, but also enjoy talking, getting to now each other, sharing thoughts, feelings, and goals. This relationship is based on a lot more than looks, status, or material things. They admire and enjoy each other's character and personality.

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE..

Which team do you think created a sculpture that best represents the type of relationship described. Write a comment about this post and submit your vote.

What's your idea of "A great relationship"?

Great relationships: they can certainly take many shapes but, what makes great relationships? Is it only about love?

What do you think? What makes a great relationship to you?

Emotional Baggage

What are you carrying with you? Emotional baggage usually carries a negative undertone in relationships. The reality is that we all carry emotional baggage into our relationships. Date someone long enough and soon after the good and not-so-good issues begin to surface. Emotional baggage is those attitudes, behaviors and feelings we have learned growing up at home and have also picked up through our life experiences. Have you ever thought about your own baggage? How are you used to resolving conflict at home? Does everyone sit to discuss the issue or do you all simply argue until someone gives up or perhaps is the one that yells louder the one who gets to win? A habit that perhaps you hated and saw people doing when you were growing up down the road can become a pattern in your own life.

Think about what your family background has taught you in these areas:
Communication / Handling Stressful Situations / Expressing Feelings / Expressing Love or Affection / Problem Solving / Unity / Discipline and Rules / Moral or Spiritual convictions / Trust and Honesty

So think about it, what kind of baggage are you carrying around? What are the good attitudes, behaviors and feelings you want to bring into your relationships? What part of your emotional baggage would you want to get rid of or change?

Dating Violence, It Could Happen To You

If you have been watching the news you probably have heard the news reports on Chris Brown and Rihanna’s alleged domestic violence situation. According to reports charges are yet to be filed in this case. Rumors along with images of the alleged situation have circulated the internet. The truth is there is so much to this story that we don't know. The fact is that this story has brought the issue of Dating and Domestic Violence to the front pages and in light of that MTV decided to do a special on it. Here’s a clip of the series MTV ran on this story.

MTV's Special: Chris Brown & Rihanna: Love in Trouble



This week we will take a look at what dating violence is, how dangerous patterns of behavior can be identified and what can be done about it.

Here are some statistics on dating Abuse

Teen dating abuse is a HUGE issue. It is a problem that touches the lives of teens from all walks of life-black and white, rich and poor, big-city and country.
These statistics are about real people. They are scary when you consider that anyone can experience dating abuse. People like you, your brother or sister, your friend, or your classmate. Become familiar with these facts so you can talk about the issue with other people and be ready to do something.

• About one in 11 teens reports being a victim of physical dating abuse each year.

• 1 in 3 teens report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked, or otherwise physically hurt by his or her partner.

• Nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their dating relationships continue to date their abuser.

(This staticstics were obtained from the Department of Health and Human Services website http://www.chooserespect.org/)

Are you planning to fail?

One of my favorite little pieces of advice which I caringly use to torture all the students I work with to think about is: "When you fail to plan, you PLAN to FAIL." This fun play of words couldn't be truer in the world of relationships.

A basic beginning in any relationship in which one wishes to succeed in, whether is a dating relationship or a friendship, is to know what one wants from the relationship and what that relationship should look like.

That short description sure does pack a lot more than one can say about relationships in a couple of lines. We invite you to join our blog and share with us your thoughts as we navigate through the complexity and depth of relationships.

The purpose of this blog is to encourage teens and young people to develop personal Relationship Smarts. Relationships are as much about finding love as they are about developing the skills to be able to make right choices for yourself and your partner.

Every week we will post tips, advice from the experts and questions to challenge your thoughts and get you to think about what makes a great relationship. One that not only has chemistry and passion but also the basis of true friendship and the trust and commitment to sustain it for the long run.

Welcome to CSAF’s Love is Smart Blog.

http://csafchicago.org/